summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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