Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
