If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
