We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
