Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
