Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
