he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
