hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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