It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
