Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
