I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
