he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
