At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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