No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
