what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
