a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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