I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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