i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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