I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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