Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
