Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
