you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
