I am puke
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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