And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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