I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
