the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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