apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
COCAINE IS GR8
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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