Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
this is an emotional support booty call
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
