Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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