some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
