school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
