"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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