I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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