Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
