is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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