I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
