when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
