so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My balls are so social today.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
