My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
