it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
