The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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