That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
