I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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