I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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