I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
