Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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