im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
