dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
as a side note pls kill me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
