Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
