i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
