The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
