i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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