Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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