I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
